"Dude, what would happen"

...if the Dudes shut the fuck up? Quite frankly, I would think we would all be better off.

Now, some of you may be scratching your heads at this. You may be thinking "But Liquid-X, the Big Labowski was awesome! How could anything The Dude have to say be bad? Also, can I give you some super hot sex?". And I could forgive you for thinking this, because the Dude was in fact awesome. But I'm not talking about "The Dude", I'm talking about the "Dudes" (Notice the s at the end. This makes it plural, and thus much more X-TREME!), the hosts of Cartoon Networks new live action X-TREME! show "Dude, what would happen?".

Now, some of you are already about to take a gun to your head, because you've been forced to watch this shitpile of a show. Others are scratching your head, wondering what this new and exciting program is being shown on Cartoon Network. Now, for those of you who DON'T know what this show is, pat yourself on the back, and continue living a normal, happy life full of puppies, kittens, sunshine, and giant robots and stop reading now. For those of you that *do* know, or are quite frankly masochists who ignored my previous warning, keep reading.

Now, for the masochistic sort remaining: "Dude, what would happen?" involves three stoner hippie teenagers (Who are trying to be all "Hip", and "X-TREME!", and "Super Poppin Fresh". Y'know, the kind that makes TV Executives panties get all wet because this is how they think all of todays children are, when instead they are painfully outdated) who try to pull off Mythbusters Jr, only in an idiotic X-TREME! way, and with far more boring explosions. The exact formula of the show works like this:

1: "Dudes" come up with stupid idea, such as pitting Lumberjacks versus Karate Experts to see who can cut shit up faster.
2: "Dudes" throw out any attempts at credible results by pretending to be Karate Experts, while going up against one guy who may be lumberjack, or may be a mass serial killer wielding an axe that they found at the local 7-11.
3: ???
4: PROFIT! "Dudes" fistbump to show how X-TREME! they are while going on about how Karate Experts would TOTALLY beat out a lumberjack (Despite the fact that it was *THREE AGAINST ONE*), while TV executives feel all warm and fuzzy about how they are all jiggy with the kids.

Suffice to say, the whole thing is a pathetic joke. You know why we love Mythbusters? Because when it comes right down to it, theres some actual scientific method involved here (Granted, the tendancy to blow shit the fuck up like Michael Bay in a fireworks, TNT, and Nitro factory doesen't hurt). You don't get that with the "Dudes". And sadly, we're getting a second season, because someone is apparently watching it enough to make it profitable. (This is called the "Barbies making money while insulting preteen girls intelligence adventure (Now with more ponies!)" effect.)

So, in essence, TV execs make money, and we continue our slow slide into a cultural pit of crap. And the Dudes still need to shut the fuck up. To the X-TREME!