Dear Sega Executives,
As a fan of your older properties, such as Shining Force, the original Sonic games (Before Sonic Team drank the special Kool-Aid to travel into space with the grand Poobah, and you quickly replaced them with brain damaged monkeys), Golden Axe, and did I mention Shining Force? Because thats kind of important there. Anyways, I have been awaiting Sonic & Sega All-Stars Racing with interest, because it promised to bring in classic Sega characters like Alex Kidd, Opa-Opa from Fantasy Zone, and Ryo from Shenmue. Today, while reading up on the game, I learned that at some point you planned on adding Segata Sanshiro riding a Sega Saturn, but decided not to put him in.
What the holy fuck is wrong with you people? Why in the nine hells would you guys choose Billy fucking Hatcher, or Shadow the racist gun toting black Hedgehog, over Segata Sanshiro? Do you people hate money or something? Apparently you must, because on top of this you keep pulling retarded moves like turning Shining Force into a lame ass action game, or thinking that turning Sonic the Hedgehog into a fucking werebeast was somehow a good idea. Are you guys secretly working for the two headed clone of Hitler and Walt Disney? Is that what it is? IT'S SEGATA SANSHIRO, PEOPLE. The most badass mascot this side of Pepsiman! I mean, the dude takes a goddamn missile for you people, and you repay him by passing him over for the fucking monkey from Monkey Ball? In conclusion, Sega:
FUCK YOU.
Sincerely,
Liquid Horatio X
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